The Waiting Room began as an attempt to process an experience that had profoundly affected me but that I had never really spoken about or worked through. Over time, I came to understand the room as a kind of threshold, a point of transition where you’re suspended between two states of being. My ayahuasca ceremony was the first major experience I tried to understand through that framework, but the ceremony itself was really a starting point for something more universal: the feeling of standing at the edge of a profound change. In moments like that, time can seem to slow down, and there’s an almost timeless stillness between what was and what comes next.
When my father passed away, I found myself returning to that framework, but with a completely different kind of transition in mind. Rather than focusing solely on what his death meant for me, I wanted to imagine what his own waiting room, his own threshold, might look like as he crossed the greatest threshold of all, between life and death. I wanted to create a piece in which I could imagine that transition in a way that felt comforting to me. Although my father’s death was a deeply sad experience, my personal mythology allows me to imagine it through a different lens, one that can be colorful, natural, and comforting. I realized that the framework I’d developed years earlier could continue to hold experiences as I moved through life, something I never could have anticipated when I first began the series.
I do think the meaning of an artwork can evolve alongside your life, sometimes in ways you couldn’t have planned. I think this is also connected to the way I approach making art intuitively. I’m not always trying to determine what something means before I make it and then find a way to communicate that meaning to someone else. I’m trying to work from a place that feels authentic to me, allowing things to emerge from my subconscious that I might not fully understand at the time. In that sense, a work can be like a seed. Its meaning continues to unfold as I change, and sometimes I only recognize what was already there after life gives me a new way of seeing it.